Sad Life Happenings

Some bad things have been happening.

• First of all, my mum and I had a fight over something selfish and horrible I did to her. I'm not going to say what it was.. I know it was bad, but at the time I didn't feel guilty. At all. I think that makes me a bad person; to have the ability to do something that will ultimitly shake my mother's trust in me even more, and yet not feel remorse, even after she finds out.
  I didn't try to explain to her why I did it either. I know that it made me feel a little better after going through crap with uni, but that wouldn't have been reason enough for her.
• My aunt, who lives in Arizona, committed suicide yesterday morning. I feel like I've already dealt with her death and moved on. I barely knew her. The last time I saw her I was still living in Auckland, almost 10 years ago. I had no idea she was ill, because nobody bothered to tell me (even though at 18 I'm perfectly capable of understanding depression).

Apart from these two things, I still feel bad. I have exams in just over a week and I haven't started studying, and I don't feel any motivation to start any time soon. :/